Rape – Beyond Law & Justice

The outcry for Kathua and Unnao rape cases was so loud it echoed around the world. That UNICEF took cognisance was not as important as the country’s law got amended in a jiffy, providing capital punishment for raping minors [12 and below].

A few days later an infant got raped in Indore; just 3 month old baby. Nauseating.

Remember Nirbhaya. The country thought her death had brought some sense and sensibility. How wrong we were has been proved by Kathua, Unnao & Indore to just name a few which made headlines and all those which continue to go through living hell.

The outcry for Nirbhaya gang rape was louder and many quick amendments were made to the law, including the juvenile law, but look where we are. Out of 6 convicts, 1 died, 4 got death sentence and the main culprit, the juvenile, got 3 years maximum punishment in a reform facility. What kind of justice was that? Legally he was a minor but actually worst than a beast.

With so much overdoes of information and short memories I don’t know how many of you remember the gory details of Nirbhaya rape.

It was not rape. It was heinous brutality. Demons and animals would have trembled with scare on hearing that gruesome act.

It was not rape. It had nothing to do with deriving pent up physical pleasure showing male dominance. No it was definitely not that. That’s a cake walk, if I may say so, compared to what that minor ‘devil put to shame’ boy actually did to Nirbhaya.

The minor boy was laughing and enjoying torturing her with an iron rod.

His act was that of a sick mind. He needed to be in a mental hospital. Someone in the family would have known and spotted his sickness through his aggressive behaviour. Someone in the family should have had the courage to get him treated and counselled. Someone in the family should have had the guts to accept their boy is worse than an animal and needed taming and caging.

Unfortunately no one did.

Unfortunately no one did it for the man in Indore as well. This is despite him having a history of abusing family children. This is despite his own sister going through hell due to his behaviour. This is despite all his family and friends knowing his sickness. This is despite Nirbahaya, Kathua, Unnao & so many more.

Nirbhaya, Kathua, Unnao, Indore happen not just because of leniency in law or lack of it. They happen more because the way we treat our boys. Somehow our social fabric does not accept boys to be defective until and unless something is physically obvious. Aggression and masculinity are treated as a typical boy thing and are signs of heroism. Fathers encourage and mothers adore and pamper this quality.

In all these cases, especially Nirbhaya and Indore, the minor boy and the man respectively, showed no remorse. They just didn’t have any guilt. This is far worse and dangerous than the crime they committed. This reflects their sickness as well as that of systems’.

It is not about death sentence. It is not about implementing law. It is not about protecting girls.

You really think capital punishment is going to rein in such crimes. I sincerely doubt.

4 out of 6 got death sentence in Nirbhaya’s case, didn’t they? It was a swift decision too!

Is that preventing the crime?

Boys and men like these are so mentally ailing that only medical help and better grooming from childhood can prevent them for carrying out such monstrous acts. No law can, I am sorry.

It is about a paradigm shift in the way boys are brought up in this country. It is about teaching boys good social behaviour more than educating girls. The ridiculous excuse, by even grown up men, of girls becoming modern and wearing enticing clothes runs hollow when Nirbhaya, Kathua, Unnao & Indore happen.

It is time for behavioural change. Every boy should mandatorily go through a psychometric analysis in class 10th and 12th at least. Today’s scientific and detailed psychometric analysis is quite competent to discover the wiring of a human being. It is being used quite extensively for successful career guidance now-a-days. It could very well be used to discover the dormant dangerous and harmful streaks. Knowing the disease, treatment and counselling could help prevent and cure. Print their psyche on their Aadhaar and attach to a counsellor.

It is also time for the parents to be accountable and take responsibility to tame or cage their boys gone wild. It is, may be, time boy’s parents were also put behind bars for sometime if their boy molests or rapes a girl, whatever her age, whatever his age. I know it’s a bit harsh on parents but it may bring more fear overall and could definitely lead to a better grooming. The societal pressure of shame to the family could become a big deterrent.

It is time Nirbhaya, Kathua, Unnao, Indore got the society to wake up and made the parents bring up boys in a way that they respect and take care of girls as an equal human being. It is only then will these girls be able to rest in peace.

Amen.

A Butterfly and Mumbai

Met a business relation friend after almost a decade. The last time we spoke, as agency - client relationship, we were to catch up on a drink but somehow it never happened. I still remember how she gave me a quick sermon on 'what are your plans in life'.

Thanks to a mutual inkling and social media we were in touch quite regularly. Her 'full of life' and 'super positive' attitude combined with sparkling eyes and a hearty laugh has kept many like me in her friend zone.

Her rise to the celebrity league with her sudden change of career, finding her 'calling', and also finding a partner for life, a la mills & boons style, is a story worth publishing. A book can also be written with all the interesting stories she keeps sharing while on the road, in a cab, standing in a queue, generally observing people or in her professional avatar.

Hesitatingly and with obvious guilt, when I called her to check if she can spare some time, her bubbly, honest and warm response was so assuring it can't be put in words. Her infectious smile was all that was needed to start from where we left when we finally met over lunch. I couldn't but resist to hug her, simply overwhelmed by her gesture.

Food ordered, my selfish reason requiring her help explained and assured for support, it was time to hear her story. And what a story it turned out to be.

Like most caterpillar stories she had to go through a tough transition to become this beautiful butterfly with even more beautiful wings. After quitting the comfort of her well settled job and taking the entrepreneurial plunge, in her own words, one fine day she was literally 'down on the mat' and 'simply surrendered to the divine forces'. She did rise from the ashes, slowly & gradually but steadily.

It was also as if she was narrating my story with characters, situations and locations changed. Too spooky a similarity. Yet with a big difference. A difference only her prayers and destiny could make.

Today she is shining both professionally and personally. She is helping a lot of people find their calling. She is also bringing like minded people together providing a networking opportunity while sharing their unique stories. She is back to being a rockstar and more.

Our conversation somewhere changed tracks and meandered towards the growing religious fanatism all over the world and in our country. How things are flying off the cliff on things pretentious and definitely senseless.

What she shared next was something I had read and heard only in news. Something which I always thought was to gain TRPs and grab headlines. I couldn't believe it was factually true. Even now it has not sunk into me.

Being a muslim she had struggled like hell to find a house on rent in Mumbai. She thought buying her own place would ease out the pain but it turned out to be equally tormenting. She did eventually succeed in finding a place but after great difficulty. Unbelievable yet true. Difficult to fathom in the city which embraces one and all.

I am a die hard Mumbai fan. My love affair with Mumbai began from the day I started working. All through my career work brought me to the city every other month. Work became pleasure while in Mumbai. I used to look forward to the monthly or quarterly reviews.

Then, as luck would have it, I got posted here and had the privilege to live here for more than five years with my family. We all adore the place, have very fond memories and would love to come back.

As destiny would have it, my elder kid got his campus placement in this very city. Our story with Mumbai continues to bloom. In all these years we never ever came across a situation where people were identified due to their religion. We just made friends. Infact I find this is one city where religion is the last thing on people's mind. Working on week days like machines is first and partying on weekends like no one's business is second.

One can find the prefect fusion of the entire country in this one amazing city. All the states and communities converge here and make this the one and only 'dream city' of India. How can Aamchi Mumbai be biased. It doesn't suit its DNA. The bug has to be removed, the error has to be rectified, the melting pot of cultures and religions has to always and all ways remain inclusive.

In this 21st century technologically savy India, aspiring to be world leader, this is definitely not 'achchey din'